How to avoid becoming a spinster?

Author's note

Hello there! My name is Ulbosyn.

I'm 33 and I’m a journalist. My zodiac sign is Virgo.

I started thinking about family life when I turned 29.

Until that moment I worked, hanged out with friends, went on business trips, studied, attended workshops.

However, the thoughts about starting a family and having beautiful and healthy children occurred to me when I turned the age of 29.

At some point, I even started dreaming of a marriage certificate with its distinctive blue jacket.

This is what I wanted in the first place.

Civil marriage?

Cool!

However, it wasn’t for me.

I'm one of those young ladies, who like telling everyone: 'Please, meet my husband'. I wanted to put on a wedding dress and call all my relatives. Tell everyone: his name is…

They always call an unmarried girl of 25 years of age or older a spinster. Not everyone could stand the disapproving looks and whispers behind their backs. In my book 'How to avoid becoming a "spinster"', I’ll share my brief experience in finding a husband.

I’m aware that there are a lot of television and radio broadcasts, books covering this topic and providing various, sometimes quite mind-bending, tips. I’ve read many of them. They typically contain a case study and advice. So I decided to share my own experience.

Why not?

Chapter 1

Dating sites: shh! First-hand experience…

If a woman closes her profile on a dating site, then she has got married.

If a man closes his profile, then he has got busted.

Author unknown.

First: yes! Of course, I was courted by young men. I mean, I didn’t remind people of a lonely, sad, prickly cactus. However, I didn’t imagine any of my fellows as a prospective husband.

Alas…

I thought one was too tight-fisted and greedy. The other was drinking too much beer and talking a lot. The third lied to me for two months that he’s an avid bachelor and ended up being the father of three boys. It happens too. Overall, they weren’t for me…

They say you must try everything in this life, and I agree with that! I think this saying shouldn’t be interpreted as falling into homosexual relationships, threesome and heavy drugs. However, dating services weren’t too bad to try. So I took my chance. For some reason, it always seemed very shameful! How come? Sign up for a dating site and upload your real photo!

A close friend of mine at that time encouraged me to step up. She assured me that many of her friends got married and everything was fine with them. On top of that, two of my friends managed to get married well thanks to online dating.

One day, while sitting in a cafe and sipping my favourite Frappuccino with ice, I thought: why not? And I signed up for a dating site. At that time – and even now – it was one of the most popular dating sites in Kazakhstan.

I signed up for the website under the name "Maral" and set my real, but rather blurry photo for an avatar. I started learning about the process and almost immediately met a very clever guy. He wasn’t from Astana, so our communication somehow gradually fizzled out.

I find it important for a guy to have fine communication skills.

Many of the messages I received were plain and beaten:

– What are you doing here, baby?

– Let's get acquainted.

– I really like you.

There were also messages with sexual content, where men offered casual sex from the first lines. They were banned immediately. After all, I was looking for a husband, not a sexual partner or lover.