TIDA

And never have I felt such a deep feeling of alienation from my own self and from full presence in the world.

Albert Camus

Chapter 1. Slippery stones

In the pitch darkness,on the top of the rock, a white cloud hung, clinging just a little by the stones. A mighty giant was looking afar, letting down his long gray hair. Light wind was blowing his wrinkled face over, tainting his hair.

Thick and just like fallen white snow, his gray eyebrows were hiding the beautiful eyes. The eyes were full of tears and endless happiness simultaneously.

– Oh no, you woke your Dad up…. Muhit, sorry, the children were unstoppable. I don’t know why they are so hyped and just…. We have been riding for so long and this steppe and sands are all around. And here there is a city seen and the blue of the sea… Everyone has been emotional, darling, – addressed him his wife Mereke, making excuses, a little.

– I get it, Mereke, everyone is tired of riding. I have rested a little, I can say. And it’s great that I had a chance to take a little nap. I don’t want to seem exhausted for your parents. I need to wash my face and I can say I am ready. What a dream I had! How could I see in my dream some giant with his hair down, Mereke.

– Well, children, is everyone ready? Let’s go further then,– addressing his children he got a tight-knit agreement. Smiling after, he glanced quickly at his wife. She nodded her head and smiled sweetly.

In anticipation of a soon meeting with her parents, Mereke was glowing with happiness. She didn’t even want to hide it and looking around she was trying to recollect some song melodies.

Muhit noticed everything that was happening with her then. He was also happy about it in his inner self, listening to her pleasant singing.

– Mereke, these songs are so old. I have recollected them. Once my mom sang them to me. It’s so surprising that you know them. I would never even think that you know this exact song. The song which my mom used to like singing for me… It’s like you transferred me to my childhood. Thank you, darling,– addressed her Muhit and tried to look through the rearview mirror and see the hushed kids settled on the backseat. All of them were exhausted from the long ride and sleeping tightly.

– Yes,you are right darling. It’s an old folk song. We tried to sing it with girls who lived next door back then. Neighbors often liked to gather at my parents’ house on Saturday evenings. I can remember it clearly. So men were discussing something amongst each other. And women were singing different songs. And we were listening and even tried to join them… And what kind of voices they had?! How can I not recollect our favorite neighbor, aunt Talshyn? I remember the way she hit the hardest pitches. She charmed all listeners with her singing. And it didn’t surprise anyone then. Now I feel she had it as her natural talent…

Precisely this song she liked singing, by the way. I don’t even know why I remembered this song… And you know what I’d also like to say. It’s that when I sing these melodies now, I imagine her. Even if it sounds strange and is hard to believe, it is so. That’s what we saw in our childhood, darling. Perhaps I've learnt this song since then. Do you also like this song? What a good time it was, people tried to communicate with each other, give each other pleasant emotions, for a reason or not. Are they still alive? I would like to, if we are home, visit all of them. I am sure they would remember me right the way. I was always their favorite one, always dancing before them… I don’t even know why I always liked to dance before them. Perhaps I wanted them to rate my dancing abilities. But does it matter now? So much time has passed but it still appears before my eyes…. Maybe you also have something to recollect, darling, don’t you? I was so graceful back then, just as our daughter is now and tried to make various movements. As for me, those dancing moves were like a breath of fresh air. I don’t know why but I wanted to be praised. And what is really strange, they clapped and supported me… However it was, I was never embarrassed by them. Definitely my mom still remembers my tricks and, I think, she will tell you what kind of child I was with pleasure,– answered Mereke, eager to make sure why kids suddenly hushed down, she turned around to have a look at them.