Applied Love

Writer: It was a warm, dry Moscow evening. We walked to the Hermitage Garden Park with my wife and her friend. I looked around so that by the time we got there they would not be hit by cars at traffic lights. They talked with enthusiasm about life. We haven't seen each other for a long time, the news has accumulated. I walked alongside and listened with the edge of my ear. “Problems” … Problems here, problems there, and with this and this, there are many problems. Oh, these women's conversations! What if it's really a problem ?! I felt uncomfortable. And it seems that, personally, everything is in order for me, but when you love someone, and that someone has problems, as if you have them. I decided to help somehow and carefully wedged myself into the conversation:

– Girls. Do you know how problems differ from tasks?

– How?

– Now, if you need to do something, but it is not clear how much time, money, or personal energy it will take, then this is a problem. But if you know about the time frame, and you will not need fantastic money, and you seem to be able to do it, then this is a task! Even if you need a lot of money, or time – a year or a few, it is still a big task, but a task. If we figure it out in this way – what do you have more: problems or tasks?

– Mmm… If you look like that, then there are no problems at all. There are many tasks…

We just came to the entrance to the park. My heart was relieved and it even seemed that the evening had become brighter. We could already hear the sounds of jazz from the stage, so we went straight to it and completely surrendered ourselves to music and relaxation…

Consultant: After all, a writer is a writer! How beautifully you know how to tell! Meanwhile, after you told me this story for the first time, I immediately used it in my book "Management for Dummies". You are a writer, but I write and publish books! Funny, isn't it?! :)

Engineer: FIRE!

Writer: Oh my God! What's on fire?

Consultant: Don't panic! We all get up together and calmly walk to the exit. We do not use the elevator, we go down the stairs.

Engineer: Stop, stop, stop. You don't have to go anywhere, I was joking.

Consultant: Joking?!

Engineer: More precisely, I conducted an experiment. To test a hypothesis. Look, I said just one word – "fire", and each of you started programs in the nervous system. The writer got excited instantly, and you have a program of action. And not surprisingly, you said that the security department conducts regular training fire alarms in your company there. So it turns out – one word, and immediately the release of hormones, increased heart rate, activation of certain nervous complexes. While you are calming down, I will finish the thought. It turns out that the Writer is absolutely right. You use the word “task” instead of the word “problem” and a completely different internal state, less anxiety, psychic energy is not spent on experiencing. Of course, without self-hypnosis – "I am the most charming and attractive", just a blow with facts and logic on problems! I draw on the board …

Consultant: I propose not to be satisfied with what has already been achieved and to deal one more blow to the problems. Here you drew an arrow to the problems when there is uncertainty. But we try to avoid problems – the so-called negative valence in Kurt Lewin's field theory. And if you imagine something for which there is no time, effort and money, but what we strive for, what we want to achieve or get. What's the best word?